Nihilism is the only thing that gives my life purpose.

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

If I can`t smoke or swear in court then I`m fucked !!!!!!

The nicest restrooms in the world, with built in wifi and TV…..amazing !!!
Had a lovely photo to go here, but hey ho proud to be a Luddite !!!!

Well it`s Monday so off we trot to the Samuel Adams brewery for a tour and a few free samples and in my case a new hoodie….god I love this drink !!!!!!!!!!!

Popped back to hostel dropped off glasses and shit and set off into the shop’s,  which to be honest were pretty pants, so went for a wander up to Boston common ,which is actually a park but hey ho.

Decided on Thai for food as the fish shop was rammed, mine was OK at best where as James` could of fed most of Darfur….so much so he left some….rare event trust me.

Back to Mcgreevys  and watched the hockey and baseball…got comfortably numb and waddled off home.

So awoke bright and early for the trip to Salem to find me a wicked witch to  cast a spell, and find me an exceedingly devious women to help keep me on the straight and narrow.

Now how the fuck do I start to describe Salem…….here goes…a town famous for the witch hunts of the 17th century now actually trades of the injustices done all them years ago…..literally every other shop is witch related, which(no pun intended) is great for idiots like me, you all know how I love the American psyche and their usual inability to laugh at themselves, whereas Salem is the exception as a lot of the shops are tongue in cheek and I think if it was a nice day it would have been a cracking day out.

Nearest thing I can think of, is the people of Hartlepool electing a monkey called Angus as mayor………. O wait a minute !!!!!!

So am now awaiting James to finally arrange a catch up with a friend of his from his backpacking days who is a Bostonian and maybe, just maybe might know of a bar here not themed on the potato famine or anything else Oirish.

In what can only be described as an eventful evening, I finally fulfilled a childhood fantasy and found myself surrounded my MILFS, remarkable as David Coleman would say, copious amounts of flirting on both sides, but have to say I won the double entendre race,even if she didn`t want to try my mussel as she had already had some… 17-30 not sure why I needed to know the exact time of said occurrence maybe it`s an American thing….I just assured her that in the words of Ronnie Biggs `No one is innocent….especially not  me!!!`.

I think it was about then she informed me she just had to have a video of me to show her daughter, was hoping she wanted to let the sibling know she could still pull, as am sure that unless I was her brother its illegal at 15 unless you are in South Carolina, unfortunately she had caught her smoking pot, would have been great……don`t worry love she`ll grow out of it……look at me ….I gave up last month !!!!!!

Anyway they left, but it was defo 1-0 to the limeys.

Had earlier met the delectable Ellen, think that’s how you spell it, who very courteously stayed and had a chat for a couple of hours catching up with James, believe we have arranged to meet up at Harvard Square later today….will await with baited breath as James is officially more laid back than me…..did not think it was possible but there I`ve said it.

So some advice for anyone coming to Boston, have a pint in Solas on Boyleston st. and just admire their restroom….makes the Red Lion look like a shithole, they are nicer than our room and smell better as well !!!!!!!

Popped off to Mcgreevys and found out that the Celtics got beat…..would of been my bet of the day, but plum forgot to have one, and from now on NO nightcaps…. apart from berating the taxi driver for going the wrong way…as if 2 dickshits like us know where we are going …James spending 10 minutes trying to find the key and being interrogated at the front desk to verify our identities … to me being rudely awoken at 04-00 to only find myself the wrong side of the door to our room dressed only in a very rough pair of underpants and not even bothering to bang fuck out of the door, just a few gentle taps before realising that there’s just no point to try and wake James so swallowed what little pride I have left and went down to front desk and feeling rather stupid explained that I went for a pee and forgot the key….they were very understanding and I just wanted to get into room and have a whitey.

So am now in lobby waiting for clothes to dry and watching the rain…..hard to miss so fucking  much of it .

Think that’s all for now.

All the best.

Me and Him

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